Updated on April 18th, 2023
Figuring out how to make new friends in college feels challenging for many students, particularly if they’re shy. But having friends at school is such a critical part of the equation. Even shy students usually consider it a core desire once they head to college, often making it a priority.
Fortunately, certain approaches can ensure that making friends in college is as simple as possible. If your student is asking, “How do I make friends in college?” here’s a look at how to make new friends in college, even if they’re shy.
Do you want to help your new college student avoid student loan debt? If so, scholarships could be the answer. If you and your student want to learn about scholarship opportunities, sign up for our free college scholarship webinar! Take a quick trip over to http://thescholarshipsystem.com/freewebinar to reserve a spot today.
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Is It Easy to Make Friends in College?
In many cases, students aren’t only trying to figure out how to make new friends in college; they also wonder if it’s difficult. Whether it’s challenging or easy can vary. Some people naturally seem to click from the moment they meet. Others may develop a fondness over time after initially feeling neutral about each other.
What’s important to remember is that friendship is a journey, and it can take some time and effort. Additionally, relationships can shift and change. Finally, both parties have to want a friendship for one to happen, as resistance from just one side can prevent that type of relationship from forming.
Fortunately, college campuses of all types are brimming with students. That creates ample opportunities for students to meet others, increasing the odds they’ll encounter someone who will ultimately become their friend.
By learning how to make good friends in college, it’s easier to create those critical opportunities to engage with others. As a result, your student’s odds of success go up, making the effort worthwhile.
How to Make Friends in College (Even If You’re Shy)
Few things are as painful for a parent to hear from their student as “I have no friends in college.” Friends provide critical social support and make the college experience more enjoyable. As a result, a lack of friends can make this new educational setting and life stage harder to navigate, which can hinder them academically and socially, as well as harm their mental health.
If your student is struggling to make friends in college, they do have potential options available. When it comes to how to make friends at college, the routes they’ll need to consider can vary a bit depending on their type of school.
Each kind of college has unique amenities, benefits, and drawbacks. As a result, students need to consider what’s at their disposal, allowing them to select approaches that make sense for their environment.
Here’s a look at how to make friends in college when you’re shy or if your student is sociable, divided into categories based on their type of school.
How to Make Friends at Community College
Making friends in community college is a bit trickier than in four-year schools in some cases. Students don’t typically dorm at community colleges, so there isn’t always a shared living environment. Similarly, students may not dine on campus often, as many head home for meals.
At community colleges, there may also be fewer clubs, athletic teams, or similar organizations. Again, this may limit a student’s options.
However, that doesn’t mean opportunities aren’t available. Here’s a look at how to make friends at a community college.
Engage with Classmates
In many cases, the easiest way for your student to start making connections is to engage with other students in their classes. The class itself serves as common ground and can act as an icebreaker. Your student can ask others what they thought about the previous lesson, why they chose to attend a particular course, and similar questions to get the conversation going.
By reaching out to classmates who are taking major-specific courses, there may be more common ground. The students may have similar career goals or visions for the future, making developing a rapport simpler and increasing the odds of other shared views and perspectives.
Get a Study Partner
Similar to the point above, asking a student in a class to become a study partner could help pave the way for future friendship. The class and the study materials create a foundation for conversation that isn’t highly personal, which may feel more comfortable for students who are shy.
Plus, working with a study partner can be a one-on-one endeavor. That may work well for students who aren’t at ease in large groups made up of people they don’t know well.
Attend Any Events
Community colleges do hold a variety of events throughout the year. Whether it’s special lectures, career fairs, musical performances, or anything else, these occasions bring students together outside of the classroom.
By attending events that align with their interests, your student can cross paths with other like-minded students. Plus, the event can be an initial topic of conversation, giving your student an easy way to engage with others.
Work on Campus
Getting an on-campus job creates opportunities to meet other students in a context that isn’t purely social. Most initial engagement involves assisting students with their needs. For example, if your student works in the bookstore, the conversational icebreaker usually focuses on finding out what the other student needs to find.
Then, your student can continue the chat by asking questions relating to the need. For example, if the student purchases a course book, your student can ask if they’re excited about the class.
At a minimum, working on campus may help your student get comfortable with talking to students they don’t know. Then, they can use their newly-honed skills when they encounter students during their day.
Connect with Students Online
In some cases, shy students may feel more comfortable initially connecting with someone in writing. For example, they could reach out to a classmate on social media to ask a question about a course they’re both taking, using that to establish an initial rapport. Then, when they meet in class after that discussion, engaging in person might seem less daunting.
Be Friendly Toward Everyone
At times, shier or more introverted students get anxious about making the first move. In some cases, you can reduce the need to do so by simply being friendly toward everyone you encounter. For example, smiling when they make eye contact while passing someone could be enough to prompt an extroverted student to say hello to them, allowing the other student to be the first to directly engage in conversation.
Essentially, friendliness makes your student seem approachable. As a result, extroverted students may take it as a sign that connecting is an option, and they might run with it.
How to Make Friends at a 4-Year College or University
All of the options above can work at four-year colleges and universities, not just community colleges. However, students at four-year schools also typically have more options.
If your student is asking, “How do you make friends in college?” and they’re attending a four-year institution, here are some additional strategies they can use.
Attend Sporting Events
At sporting events, every student is bonded by the shared desire for their team to win. This can create some great energy while also creating social opportunities. Students can openly engage with others to discuss their excitement for the upcoming game, the team’s performance as the game’s underway, and their feelings after a win or loss. As a result, random small talk with strangers may be less intimidating, as there’s a clear subject nearly everyone’s willing to talk about at that moment.
Join Clubs or On-Campus Organizations
Clubs or purpose-driven organizations are another excellent way for college students to make friends. The activity or purpose associated with the club or organization is what brings everyone together, so those in attendance often have similar views on it. Plus, it provides talking points based on the nature of the gathering, making it easier to break the ice.
Get to Know Your Roommate
Many students in dorms have roommates. If your student does, spending a little time getting to know their roommate is an easy way to explore a possible social connection. While there’s no guarantee they’ll develop that sort of bond with a roommate, the situation makes trying a wise idea. Not only will roommates have ample chances to engage with each other one-on-one, but having even a casual rapport could make the year easier regardless of whether they become friends.
Try Greek Life
Fraternities and sororities come with a sense of comradery. While Greek life comes with pros and cons, the positive social aspects of these groups are typically the most recognized.
Since it creates an inherent degree of kinship, this option can work well for extroverted and introverted students alike. Just make sure your student focuses on sororities or fraternities that align with their values, academic focus, or another aspect of their college lives, increasing the odds that they’ll have common ground with the other members.
Attend Dorm Parties
If your student is living in a dorm, attending any dorm parties can help them get to know the people living in their building without much pressure. Plus, party settings may help shier students identify other introverts with who they may be more comfortable engaging.
Students who are less extroverted may be less inclined to be in the center of the action. Instead, they might stay closer to the edges of the party. As a result, shier students can potentially find introverts to talk to, and it may be easier to bond since you both may have similar views on these gatherings.
However, it’s also okay for your student to be bolder. If they attend the party with a simple goal – such as introducing themselves to three other students – it can help them create opportunities. Plus, the target may make the experience less overwhelming to shier students since, once they hit the designated number, they can give themselves permission to take a step back to recharge if needed.
Head to Common Gathering Places
Common gathering places like cafeterias, the student success center, quads, fitness centers, and similar areas are locations where students often get together informally. Not only are they potentially solid options for people-watching, but they can also create opportunities for spontaneous interactions. Even if your student mainly uses these locations to get comfortable with saying hello to strangers in passing, they’re excellent options for potential socialization that can lead to friendships.
How to Make Friends at an Online College
If your student is attending an entirely online college, making friends at school is often difficult. Online-only college experiences don’t have many organic opportunities for socialization, which can make them feel isolating.
However, that doesn’t mean there are no options. Here’s a look at how to meet friends in college when your student is attending an online school.
Engage in Classroom Discussions
Whether your student has video- or forum-based online classrooms, engaging in any discussions gives them a chance to converse with other students or at least ensure they’re seen. Make sure to take part in large group discussions and any smaller breakout sessions. In time, that can lead to opportunities for stronger connections, as other students may respond to your student’s input or ask them to join a study group.
Join an Online Study Group
Online study groups are an excellent way for your student to engage more directly with their classmates. Whether the discussions remain entirely focused on the subject or occasionally deviate into more social territory, it’s a chance to increase their comfort level with their fellow students. Plus, there’s an inherent topic of conversation that brings the group together, allowing shier students to focus on that while they get to know their classmates.
Sign Up for an Online Club
An increasing number of colleges that have online-only programs are creating spaces for virtual clubs. These work similarly to their on-campus counterparts; the sessions are simply online instead of in-person. As a result, they’re a solid way for your student to meet with other like-minded people who are interested in a subject that intrigues them.
Attend Online Networking Events
Online networking events are also increasingly common at online-only schools. Most networking events have opportunities for socialization, making them excellent places for your student to potentially forge some friendships.
Connect on Social Media
While online colleges have their own platforms for students to use, your student may want to connect with their classmates on social media, too. Social media creates more room for casual discussion or alternative forms of interaction, such as sharing interesting posts, liking each other’s content, and otherwise developing a rapport in a less direct manner. For shier students, this could take some of the pressure off, as they can communicate with others using a wide variety of approaches.
Do you want to help your new college student avoid student loan debt? If so, scholarships could be the answer. If you and your student want to learn about scholarship opportunities, sign up for our free college scholarship webinar! Take a quick trip over to http://thescholarshipsystem.com/freewebinar to reserve a spot today.
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